Living in Thailand

IN THE BEGINNING
I first visited Thailand in 1992 where  my two Thai soul mates, Pete and Lek took my hand and showed me Thailand. I felt it was a carefree and fun time! I was blessed that Thailand and Thai culture was introduced to me not from the tourist traps, not from the notorious night life which has a niche of its own, but from living how a Thai would.
 I remember vividly arriving past midnight and Ms. Lek collected me from the airport. Riding in the backseat of the car, I felt a strange sense of "fear" looking at the Thai writing on buildings and signs and couldn't read it at all.  Although through much listening, patience and practice my spoken Thai improved enough to be functional and conversant  and my reading of Thai also improved. I believe this helped in a small way to open doors and communicate, although I feel I am far away from being an "expert".

When I first travelled and stayed in the "land of smiles" a nickname Thailand gives itself in tourist promotion, the immigration policy still  had a very liberal attitude for Western travellers, and I was able to pop in and out of the country on a "visa run".

This is an an uneventful thing which travellers must do when the date stamped on your arrival  in your passport soon expires, we would just take a small trip to cross the border into Malaysia or Myanmar, and return with a new stamp giving us with a longer time  again in Thailand!

I would do this every time with little or no effort for several years. Soon, too many people were doing this routine too and the rules got gradually stricter and until very recently, more difficult, with the process becoming involved.  I suppose it might be also due to reciprocal immigration policies from our nation towards Thais too.

THE "FARANG" FACE
A Farang, originally coming from the word "Farangset" meaning French, is a term used to classify Western people. Quintessentially the "blue eyed" and "European" looking foreigners.
Thai people, in my opinion, admire the technology, history, and the material things of Europe and USA. They are interested in Western culture, and try to emulate the positive aspects of it in their own society, and until very recently avoiding the less flattering elements of the West. 

 I think they admire the looks and features of Westerners, especially hair colour, nose shapes, and, funny enough, wearing winter clothing in Thailand's hot climate! I see many Thai young people wearing bottle blond hair, a heavy jacket, hats and winter clothing in blazing heat in Thailand. Not because they are feeling cold, but because of how the Chic and fashionable clothing looks on them. I saw a Thai woman walking with a huge fur coat in an up scale part of town, but I begin to feel sweat just looking at her! (not to mention the disgust in my heart of all those animals who lost their lives for her). When Western pop stars have Bangkok on their tour, Thais flock in droves making their tour sell out quickly.

On the negative side, I believe Thai people think our manners are rude and inconsiderate. We are very aggressive, we openly show our anger in public, raise our voices loudly. We are also seem as morally permissive, and dress too casually in a formal situation. (I agree with them on most of these points too!)
In Thailand, getting impatient and raising your voice, only slows things down more, and causes a loss of face. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive a loss of face.

Many Westerners coming to Thailand are not used to the climate. Most of the time the weather is sultry blend of being very humid and hot, and in the long rainy season, combine rain with the heat and thick humidity.  The Western diet also causes the aroma in sweat to become very strong, and body odour is frowned on in Thai society more than our own. Westerners are recommended to shower more frequently in Thailand than they would normally do in their own country. I used to shower three times a day, just to rinse off the sticky feeling on my body as well as the dust from outdoors.

 I felt, in the beginning when I was living in Thailand I felt I would be somewhat of a celebrity, as "farang" (Western people) were in fashion and everyone wanted to have a farang face seen with them, to have a farang boyfriend, or to have their Western face photograph somewhere in  the media. It was popular to have part times jobs as models for advertisements, and especially trendy if the person was เด็กครึ่ง which was half Thai and half Western. Now there is an abundance of Western faces in Thai media and around the country and the celebrity status for "Western looks" reduced quite significantly.

GETTING A JOB

I can remember getting an English teacher job very easily, almost overnight any time I applied. I tried it in different kinds of schools, private as well as government, and around the country.  I taught at an all boys' school which was the same school my Thai friend graduated from, so I felt a connection there. That school was huge, very dirty, and the classrooms were stifling because a few  ancient ceiling fans were the source of air circulation with almost 50 sweaty noisy boys in the classroom, coupled with the Bangkok humidity.

internet photo- but same situation which I experienced

 I recall one especially sultry heat day in the classroom that I vomited on the floor in the classroom! I couldn't survive doing that my whole life in those government schools!

DIVAS and THE "THIRD SEX"

 Some of the really obvious future "divas" in the class enjoyed being the centre of attention. There were a few in every class of mine in that all boy school, who wore lipstick, had pretty hair and would come together with the other giggly boys. Some boys always came late on purpose, and I had one boy who played with a key ring which had a small rubber penis toy connected to it. When I past down the isle near him he would squeeze the penis and a white fluid oozed from it and he giggled. The school uniform for the males was a white shirt and dark blue shorts. The divas's always managed to make their shirts faintly pink, and their shorts tight and very short! I found it difficult to control a classroom with fifty boys, yet alone charmers who were vying for attention on themselves.

ALL GIRL'S SCHOOL

At an all girls' school in a remote up country town in the northeast of Thailand, the classrooms were all air conditioned. Even though that school had a more privileged feel and the parents were paying a high fee for their daughter to study, I must confess, the girl's school had some real competition with the boys' school in terms of noisiness, dirt, as well as it's share of female upon female fights!
 I had an old wooden three room house, all of my own, on the school campus which I rented for $75 a month including all utilities, and fully furnished. Sometimes local male friends of mine would also spend the night if it got too late for them to go back home or if the school campus gate had already been locked for the night before they could leave.

This girls' school I taught at also had a few boys attending it for the English programme it offered.  The thing I remember most vividly about that school was the huge imposing Buddha statue in the campus grounds and of the nosy guards at the gate who would at times snitch on me to my director about the "kinds of guys", local Isan guys, whom I had associated with. This nosy guard was overly attentive as these guys would be always leaving the campus at night on motorbike, with me sitting at the back of the motorbike.

 I also taught for a while at a very upscale 'privileged' school in a Bangkok suburb. It was surrounded in beautiful gardens, and the classrooms where in a traditional classical Thai architecture. This school was for students with  dysfunctional learning abilities. I was not completely qualified to teach there as I wasn't a psychologist, but since I was a native speaker with a teacher's certificate I was hired.  
If I wanted to,  I am sure I can return and get a job teaching English and even conversation, and private tutoring in Thailand whenever I wanted to. Each time I return to Thailand I always get the urge to stay there.


THE THAI FACE

There are many intricate rules, some written, many are unwritten and even unspoken about Thai tradition, rules of behaviour, what to do and what not to do. Gestures, expressions and "ways of doing" and politeness which are acceptable in one culture might not work, or be an insult in another especially in Asia, and Thailand is no exception.  A smile or laughter in Thailand has many meanings and it doesn't always mean "happy". Saving "face" is very important in Thai culture. Being direct in any way is like a sharp pointed arrow, it shoots, punctures and hurts. Concern and respect for elders is very important. If someone is older than you are, your head can't be higher than hers/ his. The head is where the soul is, and one mustn't touch someone else's head, ( ie. we have a habit of touching the head of children in an endearing way when we meet them or greet them). Our feet and lower part of our body are not as pleasing as the upper part. We should n't put our feet up anywhere. I had a friend who, when doing his laundry, would not mix his socks and under shorts along with his shirts! He would even separate them when hanging his clothes to dry!  There is a concept called "greng jai", which is a concept Westerner's don't have, but is similar in a sense to "consideration", but this term doesn't exactly fit. Thai's have a joke, " Farang mai me greng jai"  (Westerners don't have greng jai).  I can't explain this concept thoroughly, but understand how to use it, as I have learned to master it to save face and to have things go smoothly.

EXPERIENCES ON TRANSPORT I enjoyed travelling on local transport, i.e the train, local buses ( air con and non air conditioned buses) as that is a great way to get to know local people and to interact with them. Some fun adventures would also occur on transport too! 
I would take the local "rot Tdoo" (mini bus ) which is a van shaped like a box, very often overflowing with people, and usually the driver has precarious driving skills ( once, near the end of the route, he allowed his 6 year old son take the wheel and drive the remaining part of the route by himself!). The fare for riding this would be just a few coins. Most of the time people stood as the seats were limited. When I had to stand, I would stand in front of a cute man who was seated. When the van popped over an uneven part of the street or a hole in the street, which caused the van to shake, mixing everyone and everything about, I would pretend to lose my grip and would "accidentally" fall into the cute man's lap. Both of us laughing, he would put his arms around my body to assist me, still both of us laughing. It was a fun way to flirt!

Like anywhere in the world, there are written and unwritten rules about courtesy and culture, and Thailand was no exception! There are unwritten rules that pregnant women, old people, and monks take priority for seats on public transport.

EATING 

Food and sharing of food is part of Thai culture. Almost anywhere and any time one would be able to see some food being prepared, sold, shared and eaten. If some people were about to eat together and you happen to pass by them, the polite invitation of "geen kao" would be said to you. If you wanted to be polite back, accept a small token sample of what they were eating. Many times this rule included drinking too. I would encounter men drinking together in a small party as I walked in the street, and they would gesture for me to drink too. I stopped and had a small shot of whisky with them. They offered another but I made a  playful gesture like I was drunk which released me from the obligation from having a second shot.
At work many times lunch is served and the whole office comes together and eats together. The lunch served is almost always local food which I love!
If it is someone's birthday, everything stops in the office and a cake is cut and served, just another reason to have a party and socialising. Every town has a market to buy local food, noodle shops, outside vendors selling every kind of food which is fun to eat and the cost for eating at these places is very cheap! Out of all the years I lived and ate in Thailand I never once got sick from the food. Thai people have a serious sweet tooth and make absolutely wonderful desserts with coconut creme, as well as other inventions which contain fruit, rice, etc. An eating paradise!
Each region of the country has a very different style of food, which at times is completely different. Isan ( Northeast ) style being the more adventurous in culinary tastes. Bangkok has it's own specialties and also has a Chinese influence in local specialties as well. I know I will always enjoy the Thai eating style traditions and food!

SHOPPING
I think it is a favourite past time, not only in Thailand but throughout the East and South East Asian countries to have a penchant for shopping. I personally dislike shopping, but my friends and I always found ourselves meeting at one of the ubiquitous shopping malls throughout Bangkok and in every major city. Most of the time we found ourselves going there to cool down and stay out of the elements of the South East Asian weather, albeit rain, 38 degree C ( 100 F )  temperatures and 99 % humidity, or a combination of all three. Having an ice cream and people watching is fun when you are with your friends. I however did enjoy shopping for fun foods at the huge grocery stores in the shopping mall. Their prices were at times higher than other stores, but had specialty foods which couldn't be found in other places.

PATTAYA
This once lonely fishing town grew up to be Thailand's answer to Las Vegas, complete with the flashing lights, and even the illicit situations which both cities ( drugs, syndicate crime, murders, etc) which gives it a lassez fare atmosphere, including in anything dealing with sex, of any persuasion. One could find heterosexual "lady" bars, and a whole neighbourhood of gay entertainment called "Pattayaland" complete with gay hotels and restaurants.
There is a gay beach which is huge and is cordoned by a border of rainbow flags to alert others where they are entering. Many guys will be just wearing a thong or g-string as beach wear, and more than half of these were "boys for hire" if you will. Other guys will go around and hawk ready to order food, fruit, trinkets, as well as themselves! I had a fun 4 hand massage by some nice guys on that gay beach. If you wade into the sea and stand around for a while, you might be met by a new friend who comes up to you, will begin to initiate "activities" with you in the sea!

RENT/ REAL ESTATE

Rent in my experience could be very inexpensive, even in a major city like Bangkok! For the most part I stayed in our condo or in my friend's home ( she owns four!) but when I did have to rent, it was good value for money. 
Foreigners are not allowed under Thai law to own real estate like land or houses, but could own them together with the marriage of a Thai spouse. (afterwards, she/ he loses the opportunity to purchase more after they are married!) Foreigners could own outright a condominium though.

THAI ROYAL FAMILY
The Thai royal family is revered and highly respected in Thailand. It is illegal to mention anything derogatory, even in the smallest sense about the royal family as prison sentences are liberally given out for this, including foreigners.  No matter what one's opinion is, the best rule of thumb is to say nothing at all about them and don't even mention their name. Even if speaking about any of the Royal family in discretion among Thai friends, the atmosphere will feel very uncomfortable and they will say thing with unease or some "I love the King! He is my King! He is the King of Kings! I will always love my King! as if it is the appropriate thing which they were taught to legally say.

BANGKOK
Bangkok. GrungThep Mahanakorn - "City of Angels"  is a huge metropolitan city which resembles Los Angeles with its sprawl, traffic, ozone and air quality, and population. It is a cosmopolitan city with modern areas which co-exist with ancient areas like Banglampoo, Pahurat or Chinatown. The very affluent areas might have a slum right on its border. Mosque, temple, and Church exist next to each other in harmony. 
When first arriving in Bangkok and wandering around for the first few days, feeling the combination of heat, humidity and smoke, and dust, breathing in the smoke, humidity and dust, one begins to wonder what made them come here. After really living in Bangkok, living with the local people, and experiencing Bangkok under the very thick veneer at the surface, one begins to understand, enjoy and find themselves being pulled back to that city and its ways, its sounds, aromas, tastes and senses, even if one left and has gone abroad again. Bangkok as well as other places in Thailand will always be in my heart.

THE TOURIST INDUSTRY
I find myself very very lucky to have been introduced to Thailand and experienced Thai culture and way of life not through the tourist industry but through their eyes, held by their hands, and safely having a good experience and in happiness! 
The tourist industry in Thailand is huge and has it's claws in almost every aspect of the tourists life in Thailand. It is like a hoover vacuum cleaner with the turbo suck feature designed to make the tourist part with her/ his money in every way possible. Prices for foreigners are many times higher than the locals would pay, (would you believe, I lived in Thailand for 6 years and I never entered the Grand Palace? neither some of the other famous tourist "traps" .
 One should have good negotiating skills before agreeing to pay for anything which the price is not clearly posted on first, especially at places like "Pat Pong" which is a notorious area where one can go shopping as well as see dancing women sliding on a pole. 

If I had gone the other direction and arrived under the care of the tourist industry, my experience and my opinion of Thailand would probably be very different than the one I have now.
Thank God for my two angels, from the city of Angels! 

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Cape Town, South Africa: Cool Cape Town!

Cape Town is probably one of the more beautiful cities in the world. Although located at the southern tip of South Africa, Cape Town, at times has a feeling similar to Auckland, New Zealand, or Honolulu, Hawaii. When I was in Honolulu, I at first referred to Diamond Head as Table Mountain, (a landmark in Cape Town, South Africa).

The weather is nice and cool and the fog rolls in from a mountain with a flat top called Table Mountain which gives the city a misty and mysterious feeling. 

                                (internet photo)
            
There are many kinds of interesting neighbourhoods, such as the Bo kaap area and Waterkant, to explore in Cape Town, many areas have their own flavour and many still have historical buildings.

I believe this city is a harmonious blend of the developed world with the developing world. There are many gay bars and gorgeous guys walking around everywhere. I had the opportunity to stay in the gay neighbourhood to be a guest worker in a private business venture where I got opportunities to intimately meet South African guys and to know their hearts, have meaningful conversations, and be playful with them. 

There are quiet beaches where one can wade a bit in the sea and catch a tan.

 I had a picnic with my South African friend on top of a hill which gave a wonderful lookout of the city and the sea! I really enjoyed the local beer and hanging out in different pubs in different neighbourhoods of the city. 

There is a fun sauna for gays called "Hot House" I discovered it when a client of mine took me there for some relaxation.

                               (internet photo)

It was walking distance from where I was staying in Waterkant, and my South African friend came to see me, he would always take me there.

Outside the city one could see the scars leftover from Apartheid, but I hope in time this will decrease. I went to an African market and tried all kinds of different foods, and saw local handicrafts as well as from other places in Africa. Wonderful local music and shows spill out into the street and give a good feeling in one's heart. 

I took a local train to the wine town called Stellenbosch, where I was a guest of my "Coloured" South African friend and his boyfriend who was Afrikaaner. Afrikaans is spoken a lot here and has a laid back feeling with historical buildings and of course many opportunities to have wine and local cuisine! 

I will definitely return to South Africa and go to different places around the country as well as explore the other places of Cape Town which I haven't covered on my last trip. I am also thinking of going on a canoe trip down the Orange river near Namibia- anyone want to come along? 

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Arab Gulf: How my friends helped me survive Ramadan

Ramadan is a very holy month and a time for fasting for Muslim people. In the Gulf and Saudi Arabia the tradition is very strict. No restaurants are open and no one is to eat or drink anything. (Our office had no Muslims so the head colleague declared our office a "Ramadan Free Zone" so she could have an excuse to smoke when we closed the door of the office). I so vividly remember when the call to prayer came during the day which broke the concentration of all of us at work, and the older member in our group would get up and announce it was prayer time. I would watch the guys quarrel and push to get into the small prayer room to show who could orchestrate the loudest prayer sounds,

 whilst a few others quietly scurry off with their mobile phones, unseen and unheard. 

It was difficult to maintain my strength at times, (my blood sugar would crash easily) and would wear long sleeves to secretly sneak a bite of cookies, etc. Once I came out of a supermarket and was opening a Kit Kat bar

 and started to eat it out in the open and forgot it was Ramadan! I quickly tossed the remaining bit of it in my bag.

My friends taught me how they survived the tradition. When I opened the door of my flat, they would usually do the traditional greeting "Salaam alaykum wa rahmatallah...) and kiss my cheeks 3 times as I kissed theirs. This time they quickly pushed me aside, no greetings at all! I went up to my flat and saw them with chocolate cake, a naughty movie on my TV, boxes of chicken, and they even took off their thobes (traditional dress) and sat with their underwear on in the sitting room!

If I were lounging across my sofa, one would push me further into the sofa to share it - lounging together next to me. I really learned how affectionate some Arab guys can be, once you really know them. Other times a bunch of guys and I would drive into the desert

 with food and enjoy eating, (even smoking something "exotic") and enjoying the comforts of an air-conditioned luxury car, sometimes we would all get liberatingly naked and go into the desert sands and then later back seat space of the car  until the sun begin to set and as tradition has it that one could no longer tell the difference between a strand of a black thread from a white one, and officially when the cannon sound went off, which meant time to go home to their family and break the fast, again.

 For many people, religious traditions are difficult to keep at times.   Although difficult to keep, It is fun to daringly and blatantly create new traditions, especially among friends, away from prying and judgmental eyes. If no one is getting hurt  then there should be no pain or misgivings.

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LIfe Experiences living in the rich Oil states: Flashy Cars and Fancy guys

I had the opportunity to live in Doha on a contract to work for two years in a language school. It was an interesting experience for me to be living in the Arab Gulf as I was more acquainted with the Levant countries more.

I had my own flat on a busy road which was convenient to all the shops and discount supermarkets. Doha has some rather modern and interesting Arab style architecture, and several roundabouts which serve as landmarks as to where to tell the taxi driver where you are going (followed by their usual "inshallah"). Most of the big salaried people as well as locals live in very luxurious looking villas, all with a high wall surrounding their property. I was sneaked in a few times into some of these big villas by some cute guys, but that is a story for another time.

Most of the Middle East is a very male oriented society. Rarely would I see females around in the streets except for some Palestinian looking women wearing hijab or a lone "chador" clad women in black from head to toe, with just a slit for her to see through. I felt a real comeradery  with local males there which I can't explain - but most Western male male friendships don't have that same feeling. My friends were Pathan, Iranians, hunky Egyptians, Bahraini, and my local friends were very wealthy or came from very wealthy families. They had flashy cars which they treated like toys. They would drive as fast as they could, swerving and on purpose nearly dodging the bumpers of other cars ahead of ours. At times we would stand up in the car, whilst one guy drives, and we would pop our heads out from the sun roof of the car and wave at other drivers. The police never stopped us and he never got a ticket as my friend swears by swerving quickly that the cameras would get a blurred image of the car licence plate.

I would go walking around the old "Souqs" (Arab markets) in Doha. It felt like one stepped back into time  when going into the old ones (of course there are the ultra modern ones too) which sell different spices, jalabas, sweets, music, tea shops, all of them are really novel and fun to wander through as well as smile and flirt with the guys around there. The Corniche is a public area which people stroll around, usually in the evening as the heat of the day is oppressive. It is located near the Gulf waterside, one can see all kinds of faces whilst strolling holding hands with your male friends.

 Late at night my friend and I would drive around the Corniche. Guys with big flashy cars would drive slowly past us with  Gulf style Arabic music blaring from the car.

I couldn't see inside the car because the windows were smoked. Suddenly the window rolled down a bit and I could see a few young handsome Arab guys dressed smartly in "ghutra and thobe" which is the traditional clothing.

                 (internet photo- not  of my friends)
                                           

I distinctly remember the waft of strong perfume from the car when the window opened.

Public Domain Image

One of the guys was smiling at us and wanted to take us for a drive and have some fun. My friend told them no. But they wouldn't accept no for an answer and kept following us. My friend said that the "fun" those guys wanted with us was to have sex with us. As we were driving around, guys in other cars, who wanted to pursue us, would chase us until we lost them on some dark back road.

Later when I got to know the locals better I would be met by some of my local friends at my flat and they would  bring me to a place called Al-Wakra which  is a city just a few kilometres away from the capital. Starting off as a pearl harvesting village but now, because of oil prosperity, Al-Wakra became a "happening" city. Usually in public my friend would don the traditional local dress, but last time I saw him he was wearing his fit muscle t-shirt and I instantly knew he was having one of his parties.

Driving up to me in his Ferrari whilst I am walking back home from the market, he tells me to hop in his car and go for a party at his place. I drop the groceries at home and go with him to his place in Al-Wakra where I would spend the night with him and 8 really gorgeous Iranian guys at the male only wing of his private family mansion (the women were segregated to the other side of the mansion which we were not allowed to go, not that we wanted to go) where the all male get together dinner party turned into  a sex crazed party! There was a mattress tossed on the middle of the floor with naughty videos playing, alcohol (illegal for Muslims to have, but his mansion was away from prying eyes!). When I was at that party I got to intimately know him and his 8 new Iranian guests! One guy would hold me down and separate my buttocks cheeks far open for his friend to "get to know me better", and this would continue through the night.
He drove me back home the next morning, but thankfully it was a weekend so I had time to rest up from it all. Those were some of the ways I experienced entertainment - fancy guy and flashy car style!

tell me your opinions and comments!  roundredmoon@gmail.com

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Kenya: My first experience in Africa

My friend Washington Juma and I were originally pen friends from our teens. I finally had an opportunity to take a trip to Kenya, and that was my first introduction to Sub-Saharan Africa, as I had already visited Egypt  during my long holidays when studying in the UK.
Flying Gulf Air to Nairobi, Kenya added interesting experiences to my journey as I made transfers in places like Abu Dhabi, Doha, Bahrain and Muscat on return flights. I recall the flight attendants serving Arabic coffee from a "Dhalla", traditional Arab coffee pot, and poured the coffee into a ceramic finjan, Arab coffee cup (which I kept as a souvenir!). The male passenger behind me had a long pole which had his prized falcons perched silently on it. On the movie screen was a compass to point the direction where Mecca was whilst on the plane. I had no idea yet in my mind that I would be returning to this society to live for a few years! (this is another topic later)

When I arrived in Nairobi I stayed in a funny hotel which looked like it was still under construction. I was so glad to meet my friend at the hotel and go to his humble, very modest home made of concrete and corrugated metal roof, identical to the other homes in this very humble part of town on the outskirts of the city where his aunt and cousins were also living.

 It was unclear how many people were actually living there as the comings and goings of different  people who would sleep over at that house, and then days later would not be seen again. His parents were living up country in the villages far from Nairobi. 
 Washington told me that it was his tradition when special guests arrive that the host was to bath the guest. I didn't consider myself to be a special guest, but I didn't object. He led me to the small closet, which was the bathroom. He fully undressed me as well as himself, and with a big grin on his face, began to lather my body. He began caressing me slowly as he washed me. Our bath finished with a  rinse and with a slap on my buttocks which resonated in a large echo around the whole room! We both laughed and hoped that no one was listening to us. I liked that moment we had-very intimate,very male bonding to say the least! 

He told me about the different tribes in Kenya and the government's slogans trying to make them work and live together as Kenyan.We even briefly saw the Kenyan president Arap Moi go past us in his car.

We wandered around the different villages  around the area where he lived, sharing a few bottles of "Tusker" beer, which is a typical Kenyan beer, in simple beer houses. 

We went past small shacks which were modest shops as the government was encouraging small entrepreneur businesses. A few of these were Washington's friends shops. He had many friends but at times was a bit shy to introduce them to me, as his friends would make a small dance or jig further out in the tall grasses and Washington would in turn make a small dance or jig back as if sending a secret message to each other.

We took a train to a small village near Mombasa, a coastal city. There lived another aunt which had a few houses made of cow dung and thatch. We stayed for a week together in one of those houses. It had no lights or running water, and the toilet was a covered area outside the cottages.  The temperature during the day was over 50 C, (about 120 F) which was sweltering for me and we hid under a large umbrella whenever we moved around during the day. Since we were the only ones in the small cottage we were naked due to the heat but evening we wore clothing.

I learned how to eat Ugali (the staple made of ground white corn in place of rice) and how to roast a large fish over a simple fire for dinner. Some local men made a strong local alcohol with I was curious to try, but Washington forbid me to do so saying that harmful chemicals were sometimes added.

I saw some Somali men peddling a herbal mix called "Mira'a" and decided to try some by chewing it. I felt like my body was on a rocking boat!
On our return to Nairobi we were late for our train boarding from the train station, so we quickly ran between back ways to where the train would pass by, slow enough for us to hop onto it and get to our   cabin. This train felt like going back to the days of the British Empire! Our cozy cabin had a wooden sink, and our beds had nice thick blankets and a huge fluffy pillow. I noticed a small brass label which read "East African Railway" on it. 
We went to the dining cart of the train where the waiters wore a white cloth hanging over their arm. At our place we were served a nice curry and other foods on silver and using silverware. Our beer and all the food came to a very reasonable price!

I have been to a few countries in Africa  on several different visits already and I feel that my friend in Kenya paved a good path for me to appreciate and experience for myself different places in Africa. I will definitely make more trips around different parts of Africa, soon!

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Department of "Stream of Thoughts": Profitting from Jetlag in Cairo, Egypt

Jet lag can be good! I am unable to sleep - I see from my  hotel bed that it is dark outside my open window. 

Here in old Cairo, I crawl down the stairs of my fun loving guest house. Before dawn breaks, everything is still. The friendly night guard and I, sit together around an old Arabesque carved wooden table and chairs, me aiding him to stay alert, we share a warm tea he makes for us and we both chat heart to heart, guy to guy, about everything and nothing.

The Cairo air is still clean and the gentle cool breeze blowing in from the open door gives the perfect and calm  feeling rare in a big city like this one. A bit later I wander around old Islamic Darassa and the neighbourhood of Khan-e-Khaleeli narrow alleys, the dawn makes the minarets of Al Azhar mosque and Al Azhar University look enchanting and "exotic" from my sleepy night/morning Jet lag walk.

My watch reads 0400 in the morning, Cairo time, not my time. passing by another security man who smiles at me, sitting in a dark corner in a small back street building.  There supposed to be a sauna-bath house for men near by. Just a fleeting idea in my mind, thinking how the steam bath would wake me up, but I am not sure where is it located as the small back streets around Khan-e-khalili look similar. I have no idea what my time is. 
Just a few wandering thoughts from my Cairo wanderings, during a jet lag moment.

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Boys Will Be Boys: Stories from Lebanon, Syria & Pakistan

I have travelled around the world at least 4 times in my life so far, and have met good people and enjoyed many experiences along the way. Although cultures, religious beliefs , politics and a plethora of many possible options could occur which would attempt to "separate" people, I believe that, in most cases, when guys bond closely together, there aren't many boundaries any longer and as the two sayings have it, " people are people", and, in many cases, "boys will be boys".  I personally concur most on the boys will be boys bit.

Lebanon: I stayed in a Beirut Christian neighbourhood called "Ashrafieh" with my Lebanese friend who was of the Druze faith.  We all piled into a car with his Christian boyfriend and  also with two Muslim guys, one who was a true "diva", and went to a beach in South Lebanon, not far from the border with Israel, in Hesbollah controlled lands.  We enjoyed and laughed together like a boy family. We reached a road check where there were two handsome guards who demanded our IDs. All around us were Hesbollah flags and also Iranian flags. Posters of Ayatollah looking guys, and Hassan Nusrallah were pasted in prominent places.

Imagine the faces of the two handsome guards as a bunch of guys dressed ready for the beach, and a "diva" all sashaying out of the car, each showing some kind of ID, (until my "Hawaii" ID was shown which I knew he couldn't read).  Anyway, we thoroughly enjoyed our swim, as ostentatious at times, as our "diva" had a bath towel around his head and had a collection of "Clinique" products lined up on the beach table, spraying and trying them out on us.

Due to the character of Lebanon with all the precarious political, geographical and social digressions which keep the region rather unstable, the people have, in my feeling, a fatalistic attitude in which they try to live their lives to the fullest; no matter what had happened in the past, nor what might be happening at the moment, nor what might possibly happen in the future. I also embrace this attitude myself which, I suppose, makes me feel a bit Lebanese myself.

Damascus, Syria:

Some years ago, I took a Turkish bus from Istanbul through Turkiye to the Syrian capital Damascus. I was going to stay with my Syrian friend Abdul at his family's private home. I met on the bus along the way two Jordanian guys who were also travelling to Damascus and later back home.  Arriving in Damascus at 0300 in the morning, we all rented a flat for the day and night. I vividly recall the posters of Ayatollah Khomeini pasted on the walls and graffiti which read, "we will cut off the hand that feeds Israel"(the hand being USA). I recall enjoying with my Jordanian friends the best tasting falafel ever, and wandering around the old city. The next morning my Jordanian friends continued the journey home and I went to see my friend Abdul. He lived in a traditional Syrian home and I experienced wonderful hospitality, as well as meeting his friends who lived in the small winding back alley ways where small shops were also hidden. When night came and it was time to go to sleep, we all climbed in and all shared one bed together. I remember so vividly how comforting and wonderful that experience was, just to have guys on each side of me in bed that I slept very well.

Unfortunately, Syria is currently experiencing horrible civil unrest and destruction. My heart aches badly for Syria and Syrian people. I wonder what my friend Abdul's life is like now and if he is safe. I pray that peace will come to Syria and that the Syrian people will be free- NOW!

Rawalpindi-Islamabad Pakistan: 

When my friends came to know of my trip to Pakistan they warned me about an "eye opening experience". They were absolutely correct! I was a guest of my Pakistani friend Hamid and stayed with him in the male part of his Pakistani home, where he was a gracious host! Together we went around on an adventure experiencing truly wonderful local food like "kulcha", "chaat" a savoury spicy pastry which is eaten in Chaat shops, dizzying rides around lively cities like Rawalpindi and Lahore which I love, and a mysterious feeling frontier town, Peshawar. Near Peshawar I saw the madrasa where the Taliban were training in, and I stayed in an ominous feeling hotel where there were only men, and shared a pepsi and conversation with an Afghan businessman and his very flirty male assistant.

An exciting evening in busy and lively Lahore, my friend and I shared a rickshaw where the driver's skills were so that we felt like we were on  a ride in an amusement park! Going at dizzing speeds and swerving each way, our rickshaw had a near hair raising collision, with us sitting right at the front, I truly let out a loud scream which blended in with the rest of the din of other vehicles and city sounds as our rickshaw just misses hitting the one in front of us, with that passenger being a very handsome looking man smiling and laughing when seeing me scream. Flirting with us and us with him, he convinced my friend Hamid and I to stay overnight with him at his friends nursery school. It was the first time I ever negotiated a space with crayons and school tablets, having a guys slumber party together!  I absolutely want to return and experience different regions of Pakistan and meet more beautiful and kind Pakistani guys again, very soon.

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Manila Airport: My "Pre-boarding massage" experience by airport security guy.

I had an interesting experience with the "TSA" security when I was boarding a USA bound flight  from Manila this year. Everyone knows how thorough the security checks are on USA bound flights 

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In the airport queue, we (passengers) had to take off our shoes and hand them to be specially thoroughly checked over and not returned to us until we are in a boxed off area, cordoned off with the big cord around the whole sitting area around the gate for the flight. (I purposely brought with me a carry on which had nothing in it so I can go through hassle free) so I thought this process will be a breeze. The (I have to admit cute) Security man was on his knees and he thoroughly pat down and frisked my body, but he also thoroughly prodded, rubbed and squeezed "my thing", and I giggled and tried to show my embarrassment for him to realise what he was doing, but he continued squeezing and rubbing- I was embarrassed but remembered all the times when people brought bombs in their underwear, their shoes, would I be the first one to hide a bomb over "there"? 

I guess I want to say, if you enjoy getting groped by guys in security then this place is the one to go to.. Delhi airport has a couple of not bad looking security rub down guys too. When it was my turn to come up to get my frisk, I got a smile from him! (I think of it as a pre-boarding massage!) next time I am going through Delhi airport and see which queue which has a security frisk guy who is cute, and hope he gives me a massage to also reduce my stress levels of pre-boarding hassles!

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Egypt: Cairo in my Heart!

My first trip to Egypt was when I was 19 on my school holidays in Britain. It was a tour package which included hotels, the famous museums, camel riding around the pyramids and Abu Hawel (Sphinx), a donkey ride near Hachiptsout's temple among Luxor's  many attractions like Valley of the Kings, a falucca ride down the Nile River in Aswan, Abu Simbel, with all the food and an overnight comfortable train ride each time with cosy sleeping!
We stayed in three star hotels throughout my trip. Some of the hotels we stayed at I had some near experiences. I wasn't "out" nor really accepting myself yet during this first trip to Egypt, so I was not comfortable with any possible encounters. I recall in Cairo the bell hop man, who had my hotel room key, after showing me my room, put his hand down my pants, and tried to also put his tongue inside my mouth but I was unresponsive. Another encounter was in Luxor when one of the housekeeping guys was giving me the eye and tried to wrap his arms around me before he was leaving my hotel room, when a female travelling companion ,who was also with me on our tour appeared at my door. When seeing her, he let go of me. I was still a "young boy" then. The price for the inclusive tour was very reasonable, but I saved even more when I booked my own flight to Cairo, using Tarom Romanian Airlines.

I am much older now and  this time came to Cairo by myself, avoiding the tourist scene almost completely and really discovering intimately a taste of "real" Cairo. Able to struggle again using my broken Arabic, travelling by using public transport (Cairo has an excellent and cheap Metro! The young sporty guys who were on the train were giving hungry looks making the train like a big cruising place!). I wandered around back roads and alleyways, an Cairo neighbourhood called Old Islamic Darassa, and elsewhere. I fell in love with Cairo, and  love the relationships I made with the gracious people (sitting and talking together over tea/qahwa) and discovering that not everyone wants "baksheesh", but  kind and helpful. A few times I experienced a guy lovingly hold my hand and guide me through their (frustrating but rewarding) system of things in their city. My short but sweet experience put Cairo in my heart and now I want to return and discover it again and again! 

I wandered out from my guest house in Darassa's old back streets hoping to find some sweets to nibble on before trying to go to bed when a bunch of older men were playing cards and watching a game on the telly. One of the men shouted for me but I gestured and pointed in a direction suggesting that I wanted to continue walking on. They insisted I come in to their man den and join them all for some tea and conversation. Smoke filled the room as the sports programme on the TV competed with our small conversations. I also saw a small shop with a showcase of Hummus beans. The guy behind the counter was flirting with me and the other men in the shop were smiling with him. I didn't get any hummus but I do remember all those smiles!

These small encounters and are precious to me and the feelings are unforgettable. Moments like these are the highlights of visiting Cairo and other cities in Egypt and not just the pyramids and  tourist saturated places like that. I hope on another trip to Cairo I will be invited to a home and experience Egyptian hospitality like I have in other places in the world.

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WISDOM CORNER: Lessons I learned from my Thai trangendered sister.

I have known my Thai sister (she requested to remain anonymous, so I will call her Miss "L") since 1991. Since then, we both have grown older and wiser. Through my years of living in Thailand and knowing Thai people, I have broadened my horizons about diversity and about life in general.  My Miss L was one of the two of my closest best friends who took me by my hand and hence the genesis of my Thai life experience.

I believe that people who are involuntarily placed more on the fringes of society, and who experience trials, prejudice, and intolerance have built in their psyche a special wisdom, and a different kind of awareness which enables them to see beyond the hype and smokescreens, not always joining the lemmings in doing the same thing as fad or fashion dictates. Thailand is a more tolerant and accepting society toward diversity, as the LGBTQ community is  highly visible and could be seen in prominent places in Thai society, especially in pop culture. I even heard of plans in some Thai schools to have a third restroom in the facilities.

Miss L lives a modest and quiet life in one of her three houses which she owns in a Bangkok suburb, away from the noise and smoke has many material things in her life but doesn't let materialism overwhelm her or be a dominant factor in living her life.

She as well as many of the other transgendered friends whom I have come to know throughout my years in Thailand have a special knowings, or a wisdom which I was able to relate to and felt confident in asking from them.

She is non confronting, non violent and avoids situations which could become aggressive. If a person is being caustic and confrontational she looks away, steps aside and doesn't let it get to her. She never loses her temper, and when something goes not as planned, she chuckles and shrugs it off in a ชั่งหัวมัน, or also as  Thai slang Mai Phen Rai. Around her modest and eccentric home, (it has many different species of wild animals living freely like an open zoo, and a huge area of her house devoted to huge fish and swimming creatures of every kind!) as she waters the plants and feeds her animals, there is a meditation and calming feeling that goes along with it as I followed next to her going about her ways. I hope I can continue learning from her.  

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MOVIE: Bangkok Love Story, Feeling the movie

I watched the Thai movie "Bangkok Love Story"(2007)  for the first time. This is a strong, raw at times movie, untypical but at times typical in Asian style movies. Typical as in this movie there are shooting guns, gangsters, blood, melodramatic endings, with lots of action, but untypical as this movie had a male loving male theme and at some scenes very homo erotic situations.  

The director Poj Arnon (พจน์ อานนท์) who made this movie also made movies such as "Spicy Queen of Bangkok" which the characters in the movie involved a group of "gathoey" transvestite bank robbers, and also another movie with transvestites called "Cheerleader Queens". these movies are fun loving.

Having lived in Thailand for nearly six years, I felt so nostalgic watching this movie as it was filmed in Bangkok around areas which I am very familiar with. I also had good friendships with Thai guys whose looks and character were very similar to Eadt and Mahk , the two main characters in this movie. The guy I knew in Bangkok looked like Mahk and had a similar character (but he wasn't a hired killer) and I connected so much in the movie as they were both riding on the motorcycle together, as I would sit on the back of the motorbike of my friend and together at night buzz around the streets of Bangkok in the middle of the night with all it's lively scenes flashing past me as it had in the movie, many were at the same locations! 

I also had acquaintances with many Thai guys who looked as well as had the character of Eadt. A nice muscular body, wearing the same kinds of t-shirts, and also exhibiting the same kind of passions and tenderness which happened in the movie. 

I personally did not experience the dark underworld of Bangkok which certainly exists, maybe similar to the movie where there are hit men, gangster bosses, and special words in their vocabulary คิดบัญชี, etc.   

I will say that throughout my time living in Thailand, going out at night even very late at night and very early in the morning, I never in a moment felt any sense of trouble or danger, and I never saw any, although I knew quite well that trouble was easy to find if one looked for it. I knew it existed but, like it's very nature and it's name, "underworld" is usually that, under the surface. I hope I will never get the opportunity to experience this, but keep in my mind only the kind, safe,  fun loving and, mostly playful and sensual experiences which I attribute to Bangkok.

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Queer Secrets in the خليج Arab Gulf: House Calls by two "doctors"

Queer Secrets in the Arab Gulf:  House Calls by Two "doctors"

NOTE: THIS TRUE EXPERIENCE WAS WRITTEN FROM A GAY WORLD VIEWPOINT. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE OR OFFENDED BY THESE TYPES OF WORLD VIEWPOINTS PLEASE STOP READING ANY FURTHER.

The photos in this post are from the internet because it was not possible to get photos in these situations of my friends. The photos shown give a very good impression of the real situation which I experienced.

I liked to have more international friends to further broaden my horizons and my multicultural experience whilst living in the Gulf خليج rather than only associating with other Western expats like myself. I befriended two nice guys who were part of the foreign labourer force. We met by chance encounter whilst I was walking home from a swim in the evening, and they offered to drive me back. The summers in the Arab Gulf countries were sultry and I enjoyed a playful swim in the Arab Gulf to keep cool. 
Hossam and Hussein ( one of their countries anonymous) seemed to always be together even though they worked in different jobs and lived in different locations from each other.

In my cozy flat I would at times sleep in the front sitting room on a large pink sofa. The air conditioner in my bedroom roared and rattled very loudly but the air conditioner, essential for daily life, worked quietly and better in the sitting room.
Hossam and Hussein usually would come late at night when I was already sleeping, but would awake from the sound of small pebbles tapping against my glass window. I'd buzz them both in and they would find their way up to my floor and into my flat.

Although being butch and strong looking construction labourers, they were very polite and meek, almost appearing shy until they undressed to join me in my front sitting room. Hussein was muscular and had a wonderful dark complexion and the other guy, Hossam, a Nepali, was thin and tan in complexion and still had boyish looks. The silhouettes from their dark strong bodies being lit from only a soft table lamp intensified the exotic and erotic ambiance in the room.  Our male connection with each other was very comfortable and both of them lost their shyness once their clothes came off! One of them claimed  to be a village barefoot doctor and knew about all the traditional ways. 

Together they moved my body in erotic positions, one guy spread open wide my buttocks cheeks while the other guy further put his fingers inside me to spread open my anus and with his masculine tool, plunged all the way deep inside me very forcefully. Thrusting hard in and out, in and out wildly without stopping I could feel a strange and unexplained energy coming from inside my body starting near my abdomen, flowing up to my chest and near my throat causing me to moan and groan; not in pain but a guttural, uncontrollable groan full of orgasmic pleasure! They both took turns plunging their man tools into my overly sensitive buttocks as if it were some kind of competition as to who can make me moan and orgasm louder. Unaware of my noise level I would get a playful smack on my buttock, with a warning not to scream so loudly. They would both spend the night and leave in the morning. Another time, Hussein (the dark muscular guy) would come alone again late at night and would tell me he was "making his doctor's home visit" and that I needed one. After pushing deep inside me with his strong tool, achieving successfully to make me moan and scream loudly again, he would lift my body in his arms with his tool still inside me, and carry me over to my bedroom with the noisy air conditioner working, in order for me to "finish the job" with the results he desired. I can recall the throb feeling inside!

One time over a weekend, Hossam, (the thin boyish looking guy) being a lorry driver, took all three of us out into the small villages in the desert, eating out at small ramshackle cafeterias where other labourers ate. I would wear only a jalabiya ( traditional informal costume which is used to be comfortable around the house) and with no undershorts on!   

All three of us would ride together in the cab area of the construction lorry and would visit their friends who were other labourers along the way. These horny friends would also continue doing "doctor calls" with me but in rustic settings ( unlike the large pink sofa in my place) as they stayed in corrugated metal shacks with other residents. I suppose I was the slut for gangbang parties of hunky horny construction men in the desert villages!

When I came to know that Hussein was pilfering small things from my flat, I stopped the "doctor home calls" and wouldn't let them come to my place any more. We only had "doctor home calls" when we all went with Hossam in his lorry to the desert village places. 

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